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New Year’s Day, when you’re hung over from the biggest party of the year and have just eaten the second biggest meal of the year…. This may not be the best time to set your New Year’s Resolutions, but it’s when most of us do it. Sadly, most of us defeat our chances of keeping those resolutions when we set them, because we are unrealistic or inflexible in what we resolve to do. This year, instead of making the same lame old promises we know we will break next month, or next week, give yourself a fighting chance of keeping them by setting them creatively. Then, use a few tricks to keep you on track.

Think about what you want to achieve rather than what you want to get rid of in your life.

For example, if you want to quit a bad habit such as smoking or drinking, don’t say, “I’m going to quit smoking,” or “I’ll never get drunk again.” …. it’s just like the old “don’t think pink bunnies” saying. The images these create in the mind are of doing the very thing you’re trying to avoid, and will sabotage your attempts. Instead, think in terms of staying sober, drinking responsibly, or being teetotal, depending on your level of aversion. Unfortunately, there is no word for a non-smoker that doesn’t involve smoke, so you’ll have to get creative and come up with a term of your own word that sums up the advantages of not smoking and use that instead.

Give yourself some leeway

One of the biggest reasons new Years Resolutions fail is that they’re framed in all or nothing language that means if we indulge in a certain behavior just once, we’ve broken them and it’s game over. That’s no way to make a serious attempt at changing behavior that’s habitual. If your resolution is only half hearted, returning to the old behavior after a few day’s detox may not bother you, but if you really want to make the change, build some leeway into your resolution. Instead of saying “I’m going to quit smoking,” think in terms of, “I will only breathe air by 1st March.” Give yourself longer if you think you’ll need it, and give yourself time to phase the behavior out.

Sometimes it’s better to avoid numbers.

If you want to loose weight, you may think in terms of a target weight, and say something like “I’m going to loose 2 pant sizes this year,” or “I’ll weigh x by next new year.” While these are worthwhile goals, if you don’t get off to a great start, as the year wears on and those goals seem impossible to achieve, you may get disheartened and give up the attempt. Instead, try breaking the goal down into the actions you will need to take and focus on them instead. So you might say “I’ll choose healthy snacks,” or “I’ll cook a healthy home made meal every week by the end of March.” Resolving to work on a few specific behaviors rather than trying to predict the results of these changes gives you more control. It will also help you loose the weight in a sensible, healthy way and see the real benefits.

Follow The 3 S’s For Success

• Start –  In order to achieve a goal, you need to start with a plan, a way to make you goal come to light. If you want to focus more on your relationship, then maybe buy a few gift cards ahead of time to use…. this way they NEED to be used.
• Schedule –  schedule that day night, every Friday or once a month, what ever your goal put it on the calendar and don’t let anything interfere.
• Support –  Worried about child care, or no having enough entertaining activates? Gather the support of others, have a group of friend that sway date night sitting, or have a nice list of back up sitters for a last minute cancellation. Also, have a few couple that would be fun to double date with. throwing another couple in the mix can be a fun way to try something new or liven up conversation.

How to keep your new Years Resolutions

Having made resolutions that are designed to be easier to keep, you can also help your chances by sabotaging your attempts to fail. Sounds contradictory, but think in advance of the times when you are tempted to indulge, and make it difficult. Don’t carry a full packet of cigarettes around, instead save an empty packet and only carry a few at a time, slowly reducing the number until you’re going without. Similarly, don’t regularly buy unhealthy snacks, that way you have to make an effort to buy them when a cravings strike.

You can also use procrastination in your favor. Instead of reaching out as soon as the urge strikes you, put off indulging a few minutes at a time. Often, this simple distraction technique will be enough to keep you occupied and the craving will pass. Even if you do indulge, it will help make the gaps between lapses longer, and will start the process of reprogramming your brain to place a lower importance on the behavior.