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This was a morning I was looking forward to for the last 4 years……
I remember 4 years ago in Spring, I was huge and pregnant. I was dropping my youngest child at that time off on his last day of preschool. I remember telling the teacher, “I better live this morning up because it will be my last free morning for the next 4 years.” Well this morning was the morning I had been waiting for. My 6th and last child started preschool at the start of the year and all the stars finally lined up and I was going to be completely alone this morning. All colds were gone and everyone was feeling better, so everyone finally went to school, even my older son, who broke his leg 2 weeks ago mustard up enough strength to go back this week. My husband, daughter, and son in law were at work…… so completely alone. Now don’t get me wrong…. I LOVE my husband and kids and enjoy spending time with them…… but I am sure most of you get it!!!!
I had my whole morning planned out, I was going to get the dishes and laundry going while I went to the gym, pick up food for dinner and get some work done… it was going to be great and super productive….. that was until I pulled up to the driveway……
As I drive up and put the car in park, I took a moment to take a deep breath of relief but to my surprise, I realized that is was a 2 year long pent up sigh, one that I has been trying so strong to hold in. At that moment I couldn’t help but focus on the rain pitter pattering on the moon roof and think of my Grandmother. She LOVED the rain so much….. so much that she enjoyed listening to rain and thunder CD’s on her boombox. My grandmother passed away a year and a half ago. She was like a second mother to me, as my mother and I lived with her so she could watch me while my mother was at work. The sound of the rain brings back floods of memories to me…… the drives up to Crown Point on a stormy day, our packed lunches by the Sandy river to watch the ducks, and even getting cozy in my little cabin to watch tv, read teen magazines, and of course chips and soda as a pre-teen, all provided by her so I could appreciate the coziness in life. I soon realize…. if it were 4 years ago and I had free time like I did today, the first thing I would have done was call my grandmother and just talk for an hour or so.
So here I sit, in my driveway, listening to the rain…… realizing maybe for the first time in my crazy busy life… that things have changed and changed forever. In that sad realization, I bury my head in Farm Heros, trying to distract myself, as the tears well up and stream down my face. I miss you and Love you so much!!!!
